Prologue: The Olympics are fast approaching, so as the Chinese authorities finalise preparations by shooting both homeless people and Iodine into the clouds I decided it was time for some Chinese beer. I consulted our Chinese friend, that’s right I have one, for tips.
After she explained she was from Singapore not China and that they didn’t all look the same, she told us that all Chinese beer was shit. We explained to her that the Olympics are shit as well, so it was apt. So like a drug enhanced Aussie swimmer we dove right in to a nice bottle of Tsingtao
Appearance: Yellow. Very yellow, also quite clear as opposed to Beijing and Ian Thorpe’s sexuality.
Flavour: Light and Chinese like Melissa Wu.
Packaging: Green. Like a lot of Chinese products, the packaging contains a few interesting points. Firstly the Gold medal that they won in Munich in 1906. That’s over a century ago, I’d probably stop boasting about it. They also boast about being a winner of American Beer Awards, that’s like being proud of ’winning’ a Logie. And finally, like many immigrants it has spent some time at Villawood.
Food Suggestions: Number 23 with black bean sauce
Drinking Location: On the deck of a Chinese junk on a balmy Asian evening.
Possible Slogan: “Enjoy responsibly. Or we’ll run over you with a tank”
Ranking: I’ll have a pint thanks.