Prologue: So myself, regular drinking buddy MB and a number of other people set off this weekend for some rest and relaxation in our local Castle. In between gazing from the turrets, throwing small Chinese boys in the moat and dressing in medieval clothing we managed to sample three beers, so we present over the next three days our reviews of these three hopped brews,
I should warn you now that we may have been drunk when we tasted these beers so our reviews should be treated as neither factual or coherent. First is cab off the rank is the easy to pronounce – Zlatopramen
Appearance: This beer is seriously amber. It also had a slight caramel smell.
Taste: It tasted like a German in a bottle (given that this is Czech that is strange) it was a little like that episode of The Simpsons where they mince the exchange student Uter up and make bratwurst out of him, except you know, with beer.
Packaging: It has a buxom wench on it, she was so buxom and wenchy that there were discussions of hitting that twice.
Drinking Location Suggestion: This is a beer that should be drunk in a castle with the other Boleyn Girl, no not Scarlett Johansen, or Natalie Portman, the one that will be in the sequel,.
Food suggestion: Roasted beef
In a word: Sclutenlargen.
Possible Slogans: “Can I buy a Vowel?’
Ranking: Let’s have a Schooner.