Prologue: So it’s been a very long time since I reviewed anything, why is it so? I could say I’ve been drunk, (and I have) or I could say I been away (and I have), I could say that I’ve lost my drinking buddies (but that’s lie). Really it’s more likely that I’m just a lazy shit.
But putting all that behind us, I set out with the crew on Friday in search of free beer, so we found ourselves a Maori and headed down to the Maori Chief for a beer or ten. After a few warm up beers (Fat Yak, which I’ll be reviewing shortly), we headed outside and it was decided that what we needed was a New Zealand beer, and plenty of it – bring on the Punts, or is that Pents?
Me: What’s this? A large beer?, And it’s what now?
Maori Guy (may or may not be a Chief): Monteiths Godlen
Me: What the fuck is it?
Maori Guy: It’s free beer.
Me: Right you are then – get me another one.
Appearance: A deep yellow with a foamy head, like a the summer sun, and the white snow of the the Franz Josef mountain range (which is in NZ kiddies) : Smooth, easy to drink, and gets easier after the 4, 5, 6, and possibly 7 pents, strangely it seemed to transform into a stickly sweet red bull based shot bomb contraption. : It came in pents, I may come in pots also, but in pents is better.
Drinking Location: This would be a fantastic beer to drink at your bach, you could definitely load up the chilly bin with this ale, don your jandles and head off to the bay of plenty for plenty of this.
Food suggestion: Like many a beer we tested this with a Patonys Pizza, which worked well (but we were drunk so it’s a little hard to know if it actually worked) Perhaps some sort of NZ food, like Watties baked beans (they are different to Heinz you know)
In a word: It’s choice Bro, eh (I know it’s four words, and a shit steoreotype, but I couldn’t resist)
Possible Slogans: Monteith’s Golden, The beer your drinking when you are watching hot lezbo action. (seriously there was hot lezbo action going on outside the Maori Chief, this night had it all)
6 degrees of Norm: Where we link every beer back to Norm from Cheers (George Wendt) in 6 easy steps.
1. Monteiths is based in Greymouth in the South Island of NZ,
2. Greymouth has a street in called Dupree Place
3. You, Me and Dupree featured aging rodent fan Michael Douglas
4. Michael Douglas was also in A Night at McCools with John Goodman
5. Who was in Monsters Inc with John Ratzenberger
6. Who was in Cheers, and often sat next to Norm.
Ranking: I’ll have a Pint thanks