Prologue: Greetings readers. It’s time to reveal a secret. Since way back on the 19th of April I’ve been writing to you from beyond the grave. Well not actually from beyond the grave (although if I have died this is going to get seriously spooky) but rather from the past.
That’s right, using my massive skills for trickery and deception I wrote a whole bunch of reviews and then buggered off on holidays, in fact for the last three weeks, while you have been reading posts thinking I was in Melbourne town eating a hipster cafes, having shit beers in South Melbourne pubs and drinking stout until it came out of my ears, I’ve actually been in the United States, drinking.
Now if you are not a fully fledged beer wanker you will be thinking. American beer = Shit beer. You’d be wrong, America is actually a great beer producing nation (even if we don’t see a lot of it down under). The issue though is when most people think of American beer they get no further than Miller Light and Bud.
So to celebrate my return to Australia, and impending barrage of (hopefully) good American craft brew reviews we are going to taste the US brew which has done as much to damage the US’s beer reputation as Fosters and XXXX has done for Australia
Packaging: You know you’ve seen it a thousand times before and it’s as American as Apple pie. But have you ever really studied it. Did you know it has the word Australia on it? Have you ever read the pledge? It reads:
‘We know of no brand produced by any other brewer which costs so much to brew and age. Our exclusive beechworth aging process produces a taste and smoothness and a drinkability you will find in no other beer at any price’
You get the feeling the Bud boys don’t get out much don’t you? Sure be proud of your product, but maybe keep your pledge vaguely in the realms of your capabilities. No other beer which is as tasty and smooth, c’mon.
Appearance: Clear, very clear, yellow with a clean white head – basically the perfect mass produced euro style pale lager look.
Taste: Very carbonated. There are some beer like tastes in there it it’s all quite thin. Very crisp with almost no aftertaste.
In conclusion: I wasn’t looking forward to this at all, I’d heard people disparage this brew for years. But here’s the thing, there is nothing offensive about it, it’s drinkable, it would refresh you if you were looking for a drink, and you could probably drink it all night, but it’s just boring, and I’m not sure I understand why the waste the diesel fuel to export it all the way over here.
Ranking: I’ll have a Pot