Mildura Brewery Mallee Bull Heavy

Prologue:  Old fat guys shouldn’t play footy. This is what I learned last week when this old fat guy tried to mix it with the young bucks of the media industry (and a few old, but fitter than me guys) on the football field.  

That’s right I managed to strain a calf muscle (I can only assume this is somehow linked to the cow incident in so sort of universal karmic way). Which research tells me it a ‘Typical injury that often occurs to players in the 35-50 age group and occurs as a result of the sudden contraction of the calf muscle, for instance during a sprint.

I’ve now snuck into that age group, so I should know better than to try and sprint anywhere. I would like to tell you that this was in the heat of battle, that I was running for the ball in dying minutes of the game, but alas, this was at training, only the second training session ever, during a handball drill.  

This has proven to me that I’m old, and that my dream of having an AFL career is unlikely to be achieved. I was planning on being the first ever 35 year old to be drafted.

What does this have to do with beer though? Well my research did tell me that the best form of treatment for this injury was R.I.C.E.B. which you medical types will know stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation, Beer.

Okay I might have added that last bit, but if you can’t move and you are kicking back with you leg elevated you might as well have a beer to pass the time.

And the beer I chose for this task was Mildura Brewery’s Mallee Bull Heavy  

Packaging: Great label, the silhouette of a bull on a blood red background. Only now am I realising the irony of drinking this beer whilst nursing a sore calf (I assuming here that you all understand that a calf is a baby cow and the bull is a male cow).   

Appearance: The beer is a medium brown colour with a slightly off white head, it is a touch on the cloudy side, but in a way that suggests this is going to be a full flavoured beer, or it could be chill haze, what would I know.

Smell: There is not too much in the smell actually.   

Taste: A little gassy at the front of the sip, but then this gives away to a body which is surprisingly sweet, almost biscuity. The bitterness does come through in the end, and sticks around after the end of the sip too

In conclusion:  I liked this beer. I didn’t think it was overly ‘heavy’ in any way, it wasn’t hugely malty or hoppy, in fact the only thing heavy about this is the alcohol content at 5.6%. But if you put aside the preconceptions of what the beer called ‘Mallee Bull Heavy’ should taste like and just treat it as a standard brew then you’ll find it quite enjoyable.      

Ranking:  I’ll have a Pint.   

Six Degrees of Norm: Where we prove that all beers canbe linked back to George Wendt (Norm from Cheers)

Mick Nolan - great 1970's North Man

in 6 easy steps:

  1. I drank this beer whilst recovering from a football injury
  2. When I was playing football I looked a lot like North Melbourne ruckman from  the 1970’s Mick Nolan, particularly when I wore my old school woollen, has a collar, fitted me when I was 15 but not really anymore jumper.
  3. Who came from Wangaratta, just like Nick Cave
  4. Who was in Johnny Suede with Brad Pitt
  5. Who was a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity
  6. As was Woody Harrelson who served beers to Norm in Cheers
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2 thoughts on “Mildura Brewery Mallee Bull Heavy

  1. Are you also appreciating the irony of drinking this beer whilst injured given the expression ‘fit as a Mallee bull’?

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