The Ranking System

In what I think can be described as the biggest innovation in the field of brewing since some egyptian bird threw a loaf of bread into the Nile. We here at Tiiples have brewed up a amazing sophisicated ranking system based on the beer drinking vessels we have come to love. It’s simple, the bigger the glass the better the beer.

There are five scores that a beer can be granted.

A Jug Please

This is a beer so good that you could drink a Jug (1140ml) of it. Of course here a Tipples we do not suggest that you should actually drink a Jug of any beer, as least not by yourself, but should you wish to at least make it quality beer.

I’ll have Pint Thanks

One for the Brits out there, or students on $5 pint night. This is a beer that I would happy drink a pint (568ml) of, not quite Jug worthly but still a very very good beer.

Let’s have a Schooner

It’s time to get all New South Welshman on your arse. No self respecting Victorian would drink a Schooner (425ml) , Any beer given this ranking is just a little bit better than okay.

Maybe Just a Pot

This is a ranking when you are a little unsure. You might order a pot (285ml) of these beers if you had to.  You’d get through a pot of one of the these beers and you might even vaguely enjoy it. Alternatively you could swap to these beers later in the night when taste is less important.

Nah Mate, Just a Butchers

A Butchers (AKA a Pony) is the smallest beer you can buy in a Aussie pub (and if you are ordering a Butchers you are clearly in Adelaide, it’s 200ml, which is tiny, why is it called a butcher’s because the butcher’s would come into the pub after work, they had meat fat on their hands. Fat  and oil causes beer to go flat, so they didn’t want to spend too long holding their beers, lest it go flat, so they’d order smaller glasses, and presumability just drink more of them) This is reserved for beers which are not good. These are beers that you would only drink if someone else was buying, and even then you’d only want the least amount humanly possible.

Of course this story might be complete rubbish – this article suggests that a butchers might have actually been quite large, confusing

One thought on “The Ranking System

  1. Pingback: Two beer bloggers walk into a Bar (Deluxe) « back of the ferry

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